Shoulder to Shoulder
Mom and Dad "retired" this weekend from the teaching, leading and facilitating of their passion project. For 25 years, they have held Leadership Conferences on the battlefields of Gettysburg to bring the lessons learned from history to present-day leadership. They brought over 2000 people through the training centered on developing the courage and care of leadership. For them, it is a lifetime of learning and countless logistics and months and months of living in the Gettysburg Best Western. All of us kids flew in to attend the last conference and join in the "surprise" celebration at the end of it.
Our first collective takeaway as their kids was this:
- Their friends. People came from across the country. The intersection point of each person with my parents was all over the map and timeline. The whole surprise was planned meticulously by a former boss of theirs. Enduring friendships and co-laborers stretched through the various seasons of life. It was beautiful to see up close and renewed in me the commitment to dig deep with a few, to show up, and to celebrate the contributions of others in our lives.
- The complexity of the sandwich season. My Dad sat with a table full of his kids and friends for breakfast. He mentioned being ready to hit the road as his friend Jim had entered hospice and he wanted to get home to see him. As we left the restaurant, Jim's wife called. He would have to wait for heaven on that.
In one hand, he was celebrating and remembering. In the other, they were grieving. It seemed like a constant cylcle of loss for them...their parents, their friends, career. Holding gratitude and loss simultaneously. The left the "party" to drive to hug the spouse of another college friend they lost in the past couple weeks. Onward.
In addition to the below tribute, we remain tuned in to the grace with which they wobble through each season, knowing we are on their heels...
This is what my siblings and I wrote together to tell them at the dinner:
'As Jay and Laurie’s kids, we would like to start out this tribute by saying that we are a giant disappointment. Our Civil War knowledge is embarrassing. We can never remember all the names of the commanders, or the numbers of the regiments or the days on which the battles took place. In fact, we are so insecure about this that at the beginning of this last conference, we did sit Dad down at the beginning to say, “We do not want to be called on unless we have our hands raised. Understood?”
Joanna chimed in to say, “Yep. If you call on me, I’m either going to just say the answer is “Chamberlain”. Or “Jesus.” “
This whole thing. This lifetime of learning culminating after 30 years of study and passion and commitment.
We can tell you. The answer is Chamberlain. Or Jesus.
That’s about all we really know.
So it’s true, we are not experts on the material. We are so, so grateful for Gary and Ash…that they will carry and expand and respect the material for its true worth. Ask them if you have any questions. We do not have our hands raised.
But after all these years of watching them study, prepare all year, load up their car, and come to their second home in the Gettysburg Best Western….We can tell you what we do remember.
What we do remember is..…
... is how they honored this place.
All these years, they have carried a deeply rooted commitment to this ground—to the men and women who lived, fought, and died here during the Civil War and to the men and women who live and work here today. Every decision they made, every adjustment, every new conference carried the same foundational commitment to honor this place and its people.
This went beyond the extravagant appreciation of their vendors who helped them run the conference. They also attend the local middle school football games with the hotel manager. They visit family of the reinacters in the hospital. They remember the birthdays of the housekeeping staff and their children. With might and love, care and courage, they invested in the people who live here and served alongside them.
The call them friends. They will surely remain as such even as they close this chapter.
They wanted to leave Gettysburg and its people better…better for having shared their ground. Better for having hosted these conferences together all these years.
We are confident that if you ask anyone in town, the outcome of this aim would be a resounding success.
Dad would probably appreciate it if you all remembered something about the regiments that fought here on Day 2.
A celebration of the countless logistics and special touches that Mom adds to the experience is certainly warranted.
We want them to know that we do see the work they have done here. The learning and teaching and facilitating. The profound knowledge and wisdom of the material. It really is extraordinary.
And we are really sorry that it has translated into a C- historical prowess in your children.
But ultimately, Mom and Dad, we hope you are satisfied with our collective conclusion as your offspring.
We do remember.
We remember and will aim to emulate all our days:
How you honored this place. This tiny town in Pennsylvania.
We will strive to bring the same commitment to the various grounds where we all live and work. You have set the bar remarkably high.
And for that, we thank you.'